To
move yourself out of repetitive limiting life patterns, restrictions due
to traumas, conditioned reactions, limiting mindsets and so on
requires that you look at yourself with honesty. To resolve
these also usually means that you need to find someone with
experience in these areas. To find someone that can help you
means that you have to be open about the approach that they
use and YOU YOURSELF have to be open to making the movement
that brings about change.
Although
we talk about moving completely into freedom and exploring the
means to achieve this, what most people don't realize is that
being free is not necessarily related to being happy. It is
actually easy to be happy or very happy but not actually be
free at all. So, when we talk with some people they say
'Sounds great (or weird) or whatever but I am fine, I am
happy, I don't have any problems'.
The
real question is, are you free to make ANY free choice in the
moment without the pressure of past traumas, conditioned
responses, limited belief systems and mindsets? For example:
many people are professional mothers (even without children
and not being female), their whole lives revolve around being
there for others, with no or little ability to be there for
themselves. Now from one perspective this is great, but from
another would it not be much better to be able to have the
choice to switch into being the mother when it is appropriate
but also to be able to mother yourself too? Being able to do
this means that you have a free choice, not being able to do
this means that you are stuck. You may also appreciate that
being stuck does not necessarily mean that you will be
unhappy. This is the paradox about what we do. Being happy
does not necessarily mean that you are in anyway free in your
ability to make free choices about how you live your life.
This applies to your life here and to the lives that you are
having everywhere.
This
is why we talk about new possibilities, new options to living.
We are not saying that how someone is living now is wrong, we
are saying that there are other possibilities and from our
experience they are worth investigating. However, the
difficult thing is that most of us are so embedded in our
particular way of living that to even to contemplate living
another way would make us anxious at best and terrified at
worst.
Taking
the above mothering example. Ok, you decide that perhaps
having a choice would be a good idea? You think about it and
realize some of the ramifications. For example what are the
people going to say that are currently dependent on you? Are
they going to be happy about this change? Almost certainly
not. Will they support you to make this change? Almost
certainly not. Ok, how do you know that these people are only
dependent on you because you make them dependent? That they
perhaps also don't really have a choice? Those who do have a
choice will respect your decision and support it. Those who
don't will themselves have to change and learn to be more
independent - i.e. freer. Great? Well no, not if the meaning
of your life is measured by your mothering role and the
meaning of their life is measured by how much they are
mothered? Then you can argue; but people respect me for
this, people appreciate me, I don't know how to do anything
else, I feel fulfilled and so on and they can argue, I
am loved, someone cares about me, here is someone who wants to
look after me, this is me.
We
know some people who have been stuck in this role for hundreds
of life times, we also know some soul's that have these
qualities as part of their being and have been playing this
role within virtually all existences on all levels since their
creation. We have to say that it is very much easier to stay
the same. It is easier in that most people / souls have a long
history of playing certain limited roles. Roles (particularly
soul roles) with a long history feel very comfortable (however
limiting they are). When this is the case even contemplating
change can make you feel very uncomfortable. When we have
moved on from some of our own favourite roles we find ourselves
entering a space or phase where we feel very insecure. We feel
like this because we have NO EXPERIENCE of this new way of
being or living. Our soul has no past experience to draw upon,
it is having to fly by the seat of its pants in the moment,
trusting that somehow everything is going to be alright -
which of course it always is. This for us is true soul
freedom.
Now
the thing is you only feel comfortable because you are used to
something. Think about this, myself and my wife have made lots
of such changes. The first was very scary, the second less so,
by about the two hundredth if you go a few weeks without
changing then YOU START TO GET UNCOMFORTABLE because making
changes like this is now entirely normal and comfortable.
Comfortable basically equals what you are used to, and nothing
more.
This
is why people who put up with dreadful and debilitating
circumstances for many years cannot make a move because this
terrible limiting traumatic situation is now within their
comfort zone. They have made adjustments to cope and
re-adjusting so if they change then this will put them into
different circumstances which, although may be better wont be
comfortable (at least not for a while).
